Well hows about that... took the thing apart and the motor spins freely as can be. Lubed the piston and cylinder wall up with some WD40 and she turns over like new.
All we can figure is the thing seized with non-use. Last time I bumped it was maybe a month ago, and it worked fine then. A month later and nothing.
We did see what looks like a very very shallow water line (maybe 1/16"?) up on the piston and area. I haven't gone thru any water with it, especially when it was running. Maybe could be condensation from when it was running, then cooling off. Dunno.
I do know the thing has me nervous to trust it now though. It works fine now (aired down a tire to 15psi, and aired it back up to 44psi using only the pump (took 7minutes by the way)) and now that everything is apart I'm for sure not putting stuff back underneath. Either I come up with some mounting for it and the tank up front in the dead space behind the fascia, or I eBay it and go the CO2 route instead.
Not sure what to do at this point.