Contest: Who can write the best trip report?

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Ruger

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The rules did not specify whether the trip report had to be factual. Evidently fiction is just fine. How about my off-road trip to the Triassic Period with a full load of beer, ******** clad busty women, and forgot the dinosaur repellant? :)
 

Ruger

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Wilson, a man of e-30
Thought his Raptor was purdy
His friend wrote a limerick
Couldn't come up with a gimmick
And so the last line don't rhyme.





What?
 
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RaptorWifey

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I think this is a great idea... come on guys, you can write up the forest service roads you found near home or even an off-road park. Looking forward to reading the reports and finding more places to wheel.:fuckyea:
 

Ruger

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Here ya go RW:

It wasn't dark yet, but the curtain would fall shortly. I was in 4Low with the Raptor's rears locked, working my way up a rock infested trail up to the trailhead. I was at about 11,500 feet when the tentacle slapped across the windshield, turning the outer layer into glass confetti. I was lucky it was an oblique hit, the tentacle passed the cab and scraped down the right bed rail, or I'd have been blinded by glass fragments.

Down was not an option, so I gassed it. Thought I'd gotten away, but two tentacles broke the rear window and the right rear window and wrapped themselves around the C pillar. I could hear my uber truck's body metal moan as whatever owned the tentacles brought the 3 ton truck to an abrupt halt. I gassed it again, but the truck was being pulled backwards. I had to bail.

As soon as I did the truck began to lift away. Whatever it was had the power to lift a Raptor. Lift hell, the truck was thrown back down the trail like a wadded up piece of paper. All I had was my Ruger. The light was failing, but I could see one great amber eye in the gloom. Target. It was back in the trees beside the trail, but the greasy looking tentacles were snaking their way toward me. I drew the Ruger and snapped a shot at the eye...

It's the truth officer. That stinking thing wouldn't fit in my truck and even if it did, why would I bring it all the way from Alabama to Colorado just to let it destroy my truck and shoot it?
 
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Yukon Joe

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Here ya go RW:

It wasn't dark yet, but the curtain would fall shortly. I was in 4Low with the Raptor's rears locked, working my way up a rock infested trail up to the trailhead. I was at about 11,500 feet when the tentacle slapped across the windshield, turning the outer layer into glass confetti. I was lucky it was an oblique hit, the tentacle passed over he cab and scraped down the right bed rail, or I'd have been blinded by glass fragments.

Down was not an option, so I gassed it. Thought I'd gotten away, but two tentacles broke the rear window and the right rear window and wrapped themselves around the C pillar. I could hear my uber truck's body metal moan as whatever owned the tentacles brought the 3 ton truck to an abrupt halt. I gassed it again, but the truck was being pulled backwards. I had to bail.

As soon as I did the truck began to lift away. Whatever it was had the power to lift a Raptor. Lift hell, the truck was thrown back down the trail like a wadded up piece of paper. All I had was my Ruger. The light was failing, but I could see one great amber eye in the gloom. Target. It was back in the trees beside the trail, but the greasy looking tentacles were snaking their way toward me. I drew the Ruger and snapped a shot at the eye...

It's the truth officer. That stinking thing wouldn't fit in my truck and even if it did, why would I bring it all the way from Alabama to Colorado just to let it destroy my truck and shoot it?

Your suppose to put that in the "where did your screen name come from?" thread. Hahahahaha

Yukon Joe
www.RUNRAPTORRUN.com
 
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