Just a few more thoughts on the topic:
The textbook answer is that electromechanical relays should always have suppression (flyback) diodes because the collapsing magnetic field in the coil when power is removed generates a high voltage across the terminals of the relay and this can damage the solid state electronics driving the relay. Additionally, without the reverse biased diode to absorb the energy turning it into heat, there is significant electromagnetic interference produced and this can couple into nearby circuits not even connected to the one in question. Whether that causes a problem depends on how those other circuits are designed.
Automotive electronics are already designed for a high degree of noise immunity and a generally very harsh electrical environment so as a practical matter relays without a diode, as long as they are not connected to the unprotected output of a solid state device (transistor) probably won't need the diode. Properly designed automotive electronics will already protect the driving transistors on the output of the electronics module with transient voltage suppression devices and those will do the same job as the flyback diode. In other words, the diode is already there, but it may not be right at the relay (even though that's the best place for it if trying to prevent EMI).
In the case of the upfitter switches these already drive relays (through the BCM) so if you are connecting a relay to the upfitter "switch" you're really driving a relay with a relay and there's no silicon in the path to directly damage (though the EMI issue still exists). As some mentioned, this situation still theoretically poses a wear and tear situation on the driving relay's contacts, but it's not really worse than the relay switching its rated load. (Relays experience and are designed for arcing during normal operation, but even a small high voltage spike across the gate of a small transistor will punch a hole through it and kill it.)
The good news is that you can always add a reverse biased standard diode across the relay terminals without causing any problems. A 1N4007 will be suitable for any relay in an auto.