Also an engineer here. It really depends on the scenario and if the wheels are like for like. In most everyday driving the average person would not be able to tell the difference and I’d be surprised if even an expert would notice.
Tire/wheel combo is anther variable. Depending on what you choose a 37 combo can be lighter than the stock 35 combo. So if you want to get specific a 37 PP truck with an aftermarket combo would also drive differently than stock but again most average drivers couldn’t tell the difference. Especially when it comes to just a few lbs.
Interesting enough you as an engineer said "The 37 package has odometer calibration for the bigger size tires, the shocks are also tuned for the 37's and the ECU has been update for proper shifting and throttle response on the 37's." yet you didn't know that could be easily adjusted with software that is relatively inexpensive or even at the dealership. Sometimes being an engineer is not enough.
I didn't said you couldn't adjusted those parameters at all, I know it's all software and can be adjusted. You can make anything happen when you throw money at it. All I was pointing out is the fact that getting a 35 Raptor and putting 37's on it is not the same as getting 37 package from factory. That is a fact and all that I was pointing out.
Also, there are other things like sensors that are not that obvious but are also affected when slapping bigger tires on a car. For example, the adaptive cruise control is very well affected by lifting a car or putting bigger tires without proper calibration. Is it a deal breaker? Probably not, but something to consider. I used to have a Tacoma and know for a fact the adaptive cruise sensor got all wonky when I did a 2.5" lift and 33" tires. And dealers would not do warranty if the vehicle had a lift or bigger than OEM tires.
In any case, my point is there a are a few more things to consider when saying "get a 35 Raptor and put 37's, it will be the same as the 37 package."
All good discussions here though!