I had the exact same issues. Was very disappointed about the wire taps and refused to use them. Ended up making my own harness as well using JST connectors which requires cutting the stock truck harness. Not a huge deal as this is just a pigtail (part # ml3v-15425-ze) that plugs into the chassis...
The only way I’ve found to get the gear indicator displayed is to put it in manual mode and use the paddle shifters. You can toggle manual mode on/off quickly to see what gear you’re in but it’s not ideal.
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